What Is the Right Thing to Do?

Author: Bianca Moeschinger

March 2025

The quiet war between our head, heart, and gut.

At some point—maybe every day—we’re faced with the question:
What is the right thing to do?

It sounds simple, even noble. Do the right thing. Be the good person. Make the right choice. But what happens when there’s more than one "right"? Or when what’s right for me might not be right for you?

We live in a world shaped by rules and reward systems. From early on, we’re taught what’s acceptable, what’s good, what’s bad, what’s too much, what’s not enough. This black-and-white framework feels safe at first—it helps us belong. But over time, it becomes suffocating.

The Freeze in Decision

So many of us live in a kind of emotional paralysis, caught between competing versions of “right.”

• What’s the right thing to do according to society?

• What’s the right thing to do according to my values?

• What’s the right thing to do for my health and wellbeing?

• What’s best for them?

• What’s best for me?

And what if those answers don’t align?

This is where the freeze sets in.
We weigh every option, trying to pre-empt the backlash:
“What if I get it wrong?”
“What if they think I’m selfish?”
“What if I upset someone?”
“What if I disappoint myself?”

And so we hesitate.
Or worse, we override ourselves—making the choice that pleases others or avoids conflict, but costs us a piece of our own truth.

Head Overload, Heart Disconnect

Many of us have learned to think our way through life, but rarely to feel our way.
We rationalise everything: “What’s the most logical choice? What would look best? What makes sense?”

But instinct, gut feeling, heart-knowing—those subtle, ancient signals—often get drowned out. And with that, we lose touch with our natural intelligence.

We were born to sense, to feel, to respond from the inside out. But instead, we often live from the outside in—reacting to what’s expected, what’s palatable, what’s proven.

The Cost of Getting It “Wrong”

There’s often a backlash when someone chooses to act outside the norm.
When someone follows their truth rather than society’s script.
And we’ve been conditioned to fear that.

So we stay small. We stay compliant. We do the “right” thing, even when it isn’t our right thing.

But here’s the thing: no one really knows what’s right for you. Not your parents, not your partner, not your therapist, not your boss. The only place that answer can come from is within you.

Relearning How to Know

So maybe the better question isn’t:
“What’s the right thing to do?”

But instead:
Can I slow down enough to feel what’s true for me?

Can I listen to my body when it says yes or no?
Can I recognise the moment I’m overriding my instincts for approval or fear?
Can I trust that the wisdom in my gut and heart is just as valid as the logic in my head?

Because the truth is, we won’t always get it right.
And maybe we’re not supposed to.
Maybe it’s not about perfect choices, but honest ones.
Ones made from connection rather than conditioning.

A Practice, Not a Destination

Coming back to ourselves is a process.
Unlearning takes time. Trusting our intuition takes courage.
But the more we pause, feel, reflect, and choose from the inside out, the more natural it becomes.

Not right.
Not wrong.
Just real.

And perhaps that’s the most right thing we can do.