The Stories We Hide Behind: Breaking Free for True Change

Author: Gillian Maddigan

January 2025

Investing in the Same Old Story

For almost half my life, I’ve worked with people deeply invested in their stories. These weren’t just tales they told themselves; their stories were woven so tightly into their identities that it was almost impossible to separate the two.

To let go of their stories felt like losing a part of who they were—to them, it was akin to stepping into the world naked, vulnerable, and unprotected. Yet, paradoxically, the very reason they sought my help was to create a new future, a future of connection—with themselves and with others.

Letting go of such a deeply embedded story often felt like breaking the bones of their identity. The story was their armour, a thin but powerful veneer that covered their deepest vulnerabilities, shielding the darker corners of their psyche from exposure.

Still, they knew they needed change. But change required a journey—not just outward but deeply inward—to uncover, dismantle, and reimagine the narrative they had carried for so long.

Breaking Through the Armour

In the early years of my therapy practice, I spent most sessions immersed in these narratives. Out of a 90-minute session, 70 minutes were often devoted to dissecting and negotiating small shifts within their old story.

The process was slow and meticulous, and while it held value, it often felt like we were chipping away at the surface without addressing the deeper structure beneath.

At that time, I had already completed a Diploma in Psychosomatic Therapy, which focuses on Face and Body Decoding. This method involves analysing postural patterns and physical expressions to understand a person’s story.

Yet, I wasn’t fully applying this knowledge in my work. Like my clients, I had a powerful tool that I wasn’t using.

Working with clients taught me not only about them but also about myself. Their journeys of transformation mirrored my own growth. I realised that my ability to read their stories wasn’t confined to their words; their bodies and faces held layers of meaning waiting to be decoded.

What Is Face and Body Decoding?

Face and Body Decoding, or postural analysis, is a technique for looking beyond the surface of everyday body language to uncover deeper truths about a person’s history, personality, and reality. It’s not just about interpreting gestures or expressions; it’s about understanding the patterns formed by a lifetime of experiences, conditioning, and influences.

These patterns, etched into the face and posture, reveal the stories we carry—from the moment of conception to now and affecting future outcomes. For some, the adult body houses a child still navigating unresolved experiences. For others, their story is borrowed and shaped by someone else’s expectations or beliefs.

Learning to decode these patterns transforms communication. It allows for deeper connections, clearer insights, and the ability to ask the right questions at the right time.

When someone walks into my space, their posture, facial structure, and movements often tell me more than their words ever could. This understanding helps me guide them toward editing their story in real time, opening the door to meaningful and lasting change.

The Science of Stories in Our Bodies

From the moment of conception, our experiences begin to shape us. In the womb, we are influenced by our mother’s environment—the sounds, sensations, and interactions she experiences imprint themselves on our developing bodies. These early impressions shape the foundation for our identity and form the stepping stones of our lives after birth.

As we grow, these imprints evolve. Our features—our faces, posture, and even how we hold ourselves—adapt to reflect our talents, challenges, and conditioning. By decoding these physical expressions, we gain insights into not just who we are but how we’ve been shaped.

This understanding can illuminate areas of strength and rigidity, adaptability, and resistance, offering a map for growth and change.

Beyond Therapy: Applying Decoding in Everyday Life

While Face and Body Decoding began as a therapeutic tool for me, its applications reach far beyond the therapy room.

Relationships—whether personal or professional—thrive on clear communication and deep understanding. These skills are invaluable in workplaces, schools, and communities where connection and collaboration are key.

Understanding the stories written in our bodies allows us to engage more authentically. It helps us build stronger teams, nurture meaningful relationships, and foster environments of trust and openness.

With practice, these tools become a way of life, enriching every interaction and helping us navigate the complexities of human connection.

Embracing New Stories

Investing in the same old story may feel safe, but it often limits growth. Letting go of outdated narratives is challenging, yet it is the only path to creating a future that aligns with our true selves.

Through the lens of Face and Body Decoding, we can uncover the patterns that hold us back and rewrite our stories with intention and clarity.

Change isn’t about erasing the past but about understanding it deeply enough to let it evolve. By shedding the armour of our old stories, we allow ourselves to step into a new reality—one that we own, one that reflects our highest potential.