Beyond the Image: Claiming Your Reality - What’s Your Reality Beneath Your Image?

Author: Gillian Maddigan

January 2025

“What is Body Image?” Perhaps the real question should be, “What is your Body Reality?” If we break it down, ‘image’ is something imagined, not yet in existence, while ‘reality’ is already present. Through the lens of Psychosomatics, body image is the manipulation of your own reality. The real story lies in how your experiences and conditioning have shaped you up to this moment—your body reality.

From birth, we begin constructing our identity, layering experiences, beliefs, and expectations upon ourselves. Much like a mask, we craft an image we believe others will accept. But in doing so, are we truly seen? We filter, edit, and adjust our physical appearance, behaviours, mannerisms, and even emotions to fit into an external mould. This self-imposed modification distances us from our core being, creating an illusion that can become exhausting to maintain.

The Layers of Self: Identity, Personality, Character, Image, and Ego

To fully understand body reality, we must look beyond body image and into the deeper psychosomatic layers of self-expression: identity, personality, character, image, and ego. These elements work together to shape how we perceive ourselves and how others experience us.

• Identity: The Skeleton of the Self Identity is the foundation of who we are, shaped from the moment of conception. Our DNA, maternal influences, and early environmental conditions establish the ‘bones’ of our identity. Throughout childhood, these foundations are reinforced or challenged by experiences, interactions, and the expectations of those around us. If our identity formation is too rigid, it can result in resistance or over-conformity in adulthood.
• Personality: The Flesh and Muscles Built upon our identity, personality serves as our expression in the world. It is dynamic, shaped through relationships and experiences. In adolescence, personality is mainly reactive, exploring how to interact with others and establish a social presence. Over time, it strengthens, becoming a way for us to navigate life, but it remains adaptable.
• Character: The Expression of Self Character reflects the deeper aspects of our values, beliefs, and ethical compass. It is shaped by life experiences and our evolving sense of right and wrong. Just as blood flows from the marrow, carrying oxygen and life throughout the body, character infuses our personality with depth and meaning.
• Image: The Skin We Shed Image is our outermost layer, the way we present ourselves to the world. It is often the most changeable aspect of self, a way to explore different aspects of who we are. Like shedding old skin, we may adopt and discard different images over time. However, when the image becomes a mask to hide our true identity, it creates dissonance, distancing us from real connections.
• Ego: The Spark and Network Ego is the driving force that connects these layers. When balanced, it helps us integrate past experiences, personality, and self-expression. However, an inflated ego can distort personality and image, creating barriers between us and others. A deflated ego allows others to interpret and define who we are and influence our expression due to our lack of power. The key is in understanding how ego fuels our self-perception and learning to harness it for personal growth.

The Façade vs. Authentic Connection

We have all encountered people with whom we struggle to connect before they even speak. Sometimes, we can’t pinpoint the reason, but we sense a lack of honesty or authenticity. This disconnection often stems from a façade—a carefully curated image created to conceal one’s journey and true self. Maintaining this façade comes at a great cost in terms of time, money, and self-worth and in the meaningful connections we build with others.

The gap between who we really are, who we believe others want us to be, and the self-imposed image we present infiltrates our professional, personal, and family lives. It unconsciously signals dishonesty, making others hesitant to trust or connect with us. They may not consciously know why, but something inauthentic lingers in the background, affecting all future interactions.

Shedding the Outdated Layers

When we truly own and understand our story, we cultivate balance, flexibility, and honest emotional expression. This authenticity fosters real connections with ourselves and those around us. It becomes an attractive quality—not because others want to be you, but because they are inspired to become their best selves.

We exist in a world where identity is often shaped by external expectations, but true confidence arises from embracing one’s reality rather than chasing an ideal. The people drawn to us reflect our connection with ourselves. So, take a moment to evaluate: Who is in your flock? Do they lift you up with positive body awareness or keep you grounded in self-doubt?

Self-analysis, criticism, and comparison can become a self-defeating whirlpool, pulling you under. Instead, self-awareness, balance, and understanding your unique traits, skills, challenges, and experiences allow for deeper, more meaningful connections in business, relationships, and family life.

The Evolution of Self

Understanding the interplay between identity, personality, character, image, and ego allows us to move beyond surface-level perceptions of body image and into the deeper reality of self-awareness. Identity forms our foundation. Personality shapes how we interact. Character reflects our core values. Image allows us to explore new expressions. Ego fuels the connections between these layers, bridging the past, present, and future.

Your body represents all your experiences and presence. It expresses who you are and who you are not, and due to perspective and distance, and may see you more clearly than yourself, if shared, it can be insightful and intriguing to engage with or discarded. 

The real beauty lies in authenticity. Be real. Be present. Because that is what’s truly attractive, magnetic and empowering.